Caution: This is no joke…this “shit” is hitting the streets of America while we sleep……..This story grows like a weed through the American media. I think part of the reason is the sensationalism associated with the story. It is common knowledge that kids are always trying to find creative new ways to get high. But, this is a new one…and an all time low. At first, I could not believe what my brain was trying to process, which is this - children in America are essentially doing “shit whippets”! These shit whippets are referred to as Jenkem. Or ButtHash. Or The Brown Dragon. And, finally, my favorite….Leroy Jenkems. By inhaling the “ass gas”, it is said that the Jenkem high can last from anywhere between two hours to a full day. Symptoms of huffing this sewer gas typically include initially passing out followed with a magical/hallucinogenic state upon the regaining of consciousness. Street children from Zambia (where the drug is rumored to have originated from) have claimed that it (Jenkem) can serve as a portal, “allowing them to speak with the dead”. And, as an added bonus, it will “make them fearless” and “keep them warm at night”. Personally, I would have to be pretty damned cold to ingest my own fecal matter. But, that’s just me….To each, their own, I suppose.

From the reading that I have found, such as  http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/1105072jenkem1.html  or http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2007/11/09/jenkem/ , the finished product of Jenkem is apparently very easy to make. All one needs is a jar and….yep, that’s about it. Simply, both poop and pee into said jar and cap off with a balloon after the bowel movement has concluded. Let the jar shit…I mean sit (Freudian slip-honestly happened by accident. Easily could have fixed my mistake, but found it fitting for this story) while the fecal matter and urine ferment. As soon as the balloon, which was serving as the cap, has expanded to it’s full form (which typically takes about 7-10 days), the waiting game is over. Take the full balloon and merely huff the gas that has formed inside.  

But, do you want to know the best part?!?…This epidemic has been put into motion as the result of a prank! A prank that the media and the Internet accepted as truth (and accelerated!!!) without fact checking. Thus, resulting in an even better prank. You’ll find, by doing your own research, that possibly one…ONE….ONLY 1 kid and his fake bottle of poo have caused a crapidemic in the U.S. Here is the ACTUAL FACT….note, that the word fact is not plural(as in FACTS)

True : Street children (not only in Africa, but worldwide) have been huffing different chemicals (including gasses from the sewer for a long time.

That is IT! By putting a piece of bread dough coated in Nutella spread along with other items that resembled toilet water into a jar, an unidentified minor (armed with the almighty power of an Internet connection) set off an amazing chain of events. Starting with a web page devoted to getting high off of Jenkam, this kid managed to convince the authorities, national media, and youth of America that getting high off of shit was the new rage.

So in the spirit of Christianity, I am going to accept this young fellow’s faults and our media’s lack of discipline and offer a helping hand….a hand that will personally try to assist in the continued spreading of Jenkem usage. I’m not doing this because I am a fan of drug use. My thought is this – if you’re dumb enough to be willing to get high off of crap, it would make me happy to see your dreams come true. Simply put, I am considering myself as a facilitator….much like Jack Kevorkian (maybe not my best analogy). Let me retry that one again…..I’m just trying to do my part in eliminating dumb people. Because I am “hip” (the latest term, or slang as they say) with the kids, I have found a neat-o (another phrase the kiddies are using) rap or hip-hop video that will explain about all Jenkems….simply click on the link below (supplied by the American Nihilist Underground Society) to view this new piece of  propaganda.    

http://www.anus.com/etc/jenkem/