Just a few gems of wisdom that my father has passed down to me over the years….
- No matter how hard you shake it, it’s never dry (in reference to his genitals)
- You can’t polish a turd
- Sometimes life presents you with a choice. A choice between cock and cake. And, unfortunately, were fresh out of cake.
- No matter how hard you scrub it, it’ll never be clean (in reference to his anus)
- Don’t be afraid of failure. It defines a man. Even the best have failed. I’ve failed before-look at you’re brother
- I think you’re mother is a lesbian (in reference to my Mother)
- Never eat while pooping. Unless it’s an emergency.
- I know-boys will be boys, but if you kids ever do LSD, I’ll really be pissed
- Never eat the yellow snow
- If you ever have to fight another kid in school, start off with a solid punch to the throat. And, if he’s bigger than you, make sure to kick ‘em when he’s down. If he isn’t as big as you, do it anyway-he’ll probably end up growing taller than you
