I’m slowly realizing that this blog is becoming an outlet for some of my favorite subjects-filth, drivel and schlock. Why stop now, right? At least that’s what I keep telling myself….so, here is another order of fresh schlock-straight from the oven. I would like to recite an edited passage from one of my favorite books. Have no fear, Oprah, I’m not trying to infringe upon your book club….here is a sampleing from a chapter aptly named…..
101 Big D*ck Jokes,
by Drew Carey
#1) My d*ck is so big, there’s still snow on it in the summertime.
#2) My d*ck is so big, it graduated a year ahead of me from high school.
#5) My d*ck has an elevator and a lobby.
#8) My d*ck is so big, twelve clowns climb out of it when I cum.
#9) My d*ck is so big, it was overthrown by a military coup. It’s now known as the Democratic Republic of My D*ck.
#10) My d*ck is so big, it has casters.
#13) My d*ck is so big, ships use it to find their way into the harbor.
#17) My d*ck is so big, I entered it in a big-d*ck contest and it came in first, second, and third.
#19) My d*ck is so big that the head of it has only seen my balls in pictures.
#22) My d*ck hit .370 in the minors before it hurt its knee.
#31) It’s so big, when it rains the head of my d*ck doesn’t get wet.
#36) My d*ck is so big, I could wear it as a tie if I wasn’t so afraid of getting a hard-on and killing myself.
#40) My d*ck is so big, a homeless family lives underneath it.
#43) My d*ck is so big, it takes four fat women and a team of Clydesdales to jack me off.
#45) My d*ck is so big, it has investors.
#46) My d*ck is so big, King Kong is going to crawl up it in the next remake.
#50) My d*ck is so big, it only plays arenas.
#53) If you cut my d*ck in two, you can tell how old I am.
#57) My d*ck is so big, there’s a sneaker named “Air My Dick”
#64) My d*ck is so big, it’s against the law to boink me without protective headgear.
#67) My d*ck is so big, I could hump a tuba.
#69) My d*ck is so big, Stephen Hawking has a theory about it.
#78) NASA once launched a space probe to search for the tip of my d*ck.
#79) My d*ck is so big, movie theaters now serve popcorn in small, medium, large, and My D*ck.
#82) My d*ck is so big, I can braid it.
#87) My d*ck is so big, that when it’s Eastern Standard Time at the tip, it’s Central Mountain Time at my balls.
#89) My d*ck is so big, I can sit on it.
#90) My d*ck is so big, you’re sitting on it
If you’ve enjoyed this sampleing, I highly recommend this highly intellectual, witty book….okay, maybe stretching it, but it IS REALLY ENTERTAINING-(Drew, if you ever read this, feel free to compensate me for the free endorsement….actually, I’ll settle for you not sueing me for including you in this mess)
